Several years ago I tried my hand at internet dating through the website
Here I found hundreds of men all with photos where they looked like their mother had dressed them.
This denigrates the Indian man into something only marginally short of a sloth and depresses me even further. Then this one in Tehelka that essentially blames parenting styles, and mothers in particular, for molly-coddling their sons.
I have to say, I have seen many examples of this and it really does exist however it is not limited to Indian men, with many western men also relying on their mothers to look after them into adulthood.
According to the article more than 65% of Indian men believed that women should tolerate violence to keep the family together and that women sometimes deserved to be beaten, furthermore 24% admitted to having committed sexual violence in their lives.
Whilst I have fortunately not come across anyone who has demonstrated these behaviours, it does seem to indicate that there are some deep seated issues in Indian culture where many men are treating women with little respect.
The constant spitting (apparently due to chewing tobacco), public urination (and by this I mean pulling it out anywhere there is space and going), nose picking and staring at me (usually whilst also fiddling with their nether regions) are a few of the distasteful activities I observed.After having arranged to meet someone (platonic or romantic) I generally turn up alone, or if I have reservations I may have a friend politely bid their farewells when they are comfortable the person I am meeting is not a criminal. He had a quick wit and a gorgeous smile, I would have liked to have spent some time getting to know him without a chaperone.We may meet up again and I sincerely hope we do (unless of course he reads this and becomes terrified of me).I don’t understand what the attraction is to shiny pants, thick striped shirts and hair that is carefully patted down to one side and glistening with coconut oil.Don’t get me wrong, I am far less interested in a person’s looks, but a sense of personal style is part of what makes someone attractive in my opinion, and what someone’s mother finds attractive is not usually what a potential mate may find appealing.