Finding the asexual community was a "relief," he says, as it helped him better understand himself and "articulate some of the thoughts" he'd been having about his asexuality.
(Photo credit: Luke Bovard) Though asexuals (or "aces") are often seen as individuals who are devoid of sexual desire, incapable of sexual arousal and averse to interpersonal intimacy, both researchers and asexuals alike say these are largely misconceptions.
Gwendolyn, who identifies as a panromantic demisexual, has been in a relationship with a sexual man for the past seven years.
She says the bond generally takes a very long time to form, and even when it does, sex is possible, but it still remains relatively peripheral.
These include individuals who don't typically experience sexual attraction, as well as people who can desire and enjoy sex but only under very specific circumstances.
"Sexuality is so fluid, and Gray-A presents more of a possibility to be unsure.
For example, while some aces identify themselves as both aromantic and asexual (meaning they generally do not feel romantic or sexual attraction toward other people), others say they do have the capacity to feel romantically toward others.
"[The ace lifestyle] allows you to see how sex and romance can be decoupled," said Anthony Bogaert, a professor at Canada’s Brock University and an authority on asexual research.
"There's nothing more to it." Luke Bovard, who studies applied math, says he's been "vaguely aware" of his asexuality since his early adolescence.but I enjoy a lot of the sex with him only very partially from my own sexual desire, which is minimal.It's really from this secondary sexual desire, this desire to make him happy, that makes it enjoyable.I'm capable of having strong emotional feelings, and I'm also capable of falling in love, but sex and love for me are completely separate," the 49-year-old said."I enjoy physical contact, and I don't find sex offensive.