A month or so ago, I stopped seeing a much younger guy.
Because he's only 23, I went into it without any expectations.
Almost a year and a half ago, I got out of a very serious and very loving relationship, one which I had put my whole heart into.
Since that breakup, I've been all over the place, pretty much going from one guy to the next, not really making the best choices; probably, on a subconscious level, as a form of protection.
It made me realize that while many people choose to shut down and close their hearts forever rather than feel pain again, I'm ready to not only open mine and share it with someone once more, but to also make better choices in I'm going to share it with.Because the truth is, you can't build an authentic relationship if you're not authentically yourself.I have learned from these things that the only way -- I now believe -- to build a genuine relationship is to be in the moment and to be fully ourselves, without the constant fear about where it's going to go or if it's going to end.This doesn't mean not to be clear on what you want from a relationship or partner, no way. This is a realization I've been fighting against accepting for years.It just means managing the age-old paradox of staying true to what you want big-picture for your life while still being present in each moment and not attached to the outcome. I have spent way too much time making excuse after excuse for men I've dated, thinking that if I were just better or more awesome, or if I waited long enough, he would become "ready" for the same things that I am ready for... But finally, through dating this younger guy, it sunk in -- it's actually not about me!